Anytime of the year!
Are you ready to unleash your gift giving prowess?
Here are 10 steps that will help up your gift-giving game and ensure you are the season’s best gift giver ever!
]]>Lately i've listened to so many ’experts’ and read so many articles talking about Midlife Crisis and whether it actually exists. We hear the term ‘midlife crisis’ flung around all too often when discussing women who seem to go through a big change in later life, but where did it come from and is what actually happens such a bad thing? In the words of Carrie; i couldn’t help but wonder is there really such thing as a midlife crisis or are we just tired of the bullshit?
Let me explain..
In my 20s i was a bit of a mess. i didn’t know it at the time, but looking back (as i'm sure many of you do) i didn’t know which way was up. On one hand i was supposed to be an adult and to prove it i had a good job, a nice flat, great friends and a cracking social life. However, on the other hand, i was nowhere near as confident in myself as i should have been, the type of confidence that comes with being a grown up. I had the job with a great title and lots of responsibility, but if my boss questioned a decision i'd made, no matter how sure of it i was, i'd change my mind. I’d work crazy hours, for no reward because someone told me that’s what you did you get ahead, not knowing the more you work for free the more your boss expects it. i’d buy something for my flat, but if someone else called it ugly i'd bin it. I’d meet up with friends who always seemed to forget to go to the bar when their glass was empty, yet always seemed to want to line the drinks up when it was my turn.
Now i'm in my (ahem) late 40s and a business owner i've become more confident, more self assured. I know my own mind. I know what i like and i'm not afraid or worried about admitting it and acting on it. If someone wants me to work for them on a promise, i know my worth and i'm not afraid to say no. If my husband tells me that Star Wars curtains have no place in our home he knows that my response will be that HE has no place in our home and I'm simply done with freeloader friends knowing that the friends i have now will always take their turn to get the drinks in and will probably have a row over trying to pay for more than their share. I will call people out over their toxic behaviour, has my personality changed? No. This is me, the me that i was suppressing in my 20s to make other people happy.
It’s not a midlife crisis, i'm just done with all the bullshit.
Since thinking about it like this i've really come to hate the implications of a midlife crisis. Crisis implies something bad, a disaster….is the term ‘midlife crisis' the makings of a man who hates the idea that women, who were once so impressionable, now just call out bullshit? Should we take ownership of this change in our lives? In the words of Mr Big Abso-fucking-lutely!
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I used to really take pride in my appearance. As a girl from Grimsby I wouldn’t even answer the door to the postman without my eyebrows on and i would never, EVER go for more than a day without my hair being properly ‘done’. My curling wand now thinks I’ve died. I’m having Zoom meetings with my hair up, glasses on and no make-up. What the hell has happened to me?
I have spent more time in the last year with un-blow dried hair, socks on and not a high heal in sight. As a self-titled ‘short arse’ this is a major deal. I used to keep the hard skin on my feet so my killer heels wouldn’t murder me. Now i’ve sold all my corporate suits and designer high heels on eBay and I don’t really know what I am going to swap them with.
My style, or lack of it, is all over the place. I have spent a lifetime in blazers and smart trousers during my career I am not quite sure who I am just now. Where is Gok when you need him?
So last week I put on real clothes (well, a tracksuit) and ventured out to the shops. Well, I say shopping, I went to one fashion store. That was enough. I had no idea what I was looking for, what I was matching anything with or what I needed. It was all a bit of a mess. However, I made my purchases, came home, and hung everything in the wardrobe. I then put my pyjamas back on, took my make up off and tied my hair back in it’s bun. I have to say I am left a little confused of my style identity and not sure where to start.
I need a plan, I have been thinking I should pretend to be back in an office; wake up earlier, go for a coffee and come back to my desk like I had a commute. Sounds a little daft but I think the routine of going out and coming back to my desk will be both beneficial to my mind health and self-esteem. I’m just not sure my husband can get his head around being the office tea boy, but he’ll learn.
Helen
]]>I’ve worked in offices in and around central London for pretty much all of my career. Pre ‘Rona that’s what you did. If you worked for a big company, you went to an office, plain and simple. Working from home was something that only very senior staff were allowed (a privilege granted to themselves). New mums and long commuters almost had to beg to be allowed to have such a perk! It was such a major issue to so many companies which all seems rather pathetic now. Why did all my mates have to jump through so many hoops and sacrifice higher wages when it’s such a simple solution to turn on when we’ve needed to?
So many people love working from home, personally I like an office environment; the banter, the friendships, the problem solving, the chatter over a coffee and the brain storming over an idea or a problem. Zoom to me is cold, it’s hard to read people and i can’t bear it when you don’t really ‘get’ when you need to talk and all end up talking at the same time. What would have been a quick shout over the top of your PC to your line manager now has to be a scheduled call or a WhatsApp message. It’s a pain in the arse when you have to discuss something serious or when your message gets misconstrued. Also this constant self-gaze is exhausting….my nip and tuck list is now bloody massive - I would much rather call than video chat.
Because of who i am and the industry i have worked in, I have always tried to run my offices in a laid back friendly way. You get your work done, but you go home on time and you take your breaks and your holiday. I prefer to work with a happy, rested team than the culture of who stays the latest in the office is more hard working. For me this just creates problems and unhealthy competitiveness. A toxic office is the worst kind, the secret emails or WhatsApp messages, going for lunches in groups is just awful for the one not invited. Who knew the playground bullying could continue as adults?
Weirdly I have been discussing the pros and cons of office life versus working from home quite a lot. My friends who have always had the mix of the two are now craving the office environment, too much of a good thing really isn’t great. Office life can be hard to navigate, but WFH can equally be super lonely and it can be quite hard to compartmentalise your life if you don’t have the luxury of a home office, your sofa becomes the space to take that conference call as well as the place you relax.
At this point in my business a physical office is very far away, the option of ‘going back to work’ isn’t there for me right now. I miss the Friday diet coke breaks, the le'ts go out after work for one drinks that becomes ten and a night bus home and the Monday mornings chat to dissect the weekend. Especially when you're single.
So a word to the office managers – give your team a break, trust they will continue to do the work you have given them whilst at home and a work/life balance is for everyone not just the most senior in the company. Every employee is as important as each other.
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I read an article on LinkedIn recently from the founder of SPANX that said you should always try and keep the enjoyment of what you are doing your focus. If you only worry about the money, the VAT or the lack of money, the business will not grow. If you keep remembering and, most importantly, enjoying why you started the business in the first place the rest will follow. This all really stuck with me, I didn’t start Cheeky Mare to worry about the bills, I started this because I wanted to be creative to my own agenda, to work with like minded women and have fun and create a business and product that I can be genuinely proud of. If you had told me at the beginning of the year what March would bring, I wouldn’t have believed you and if you had then told me it would leave me feeling a bit ‘meh’, I would have told you to shut your face!
I'm no stranger to feeling like this and as much as I tolerate my husband, in situations like this his words don’t resonate, they grate. At times like this I turn to my close friends. Their advice and opinions always feel so positive and constructive. They lift me up and make me feel so much better. I will share their advice as it might help you too. They reminded me to see what I have achieved and where I have come, but more importantly to focus on where I am headed.
To help keep me focused this is a note to my new self.
Dear Helen,
This time last year you had no brand, you had dreams but then the majority of people do... Dreams are great, but reality it so much better! This year you have a brand - a fantastic brand, a brand that your customers love and brand that is growing.
So, ask yourself what is next year going to look like?
Ensure you enjoy the journey, enjoy the creative which is why you started this. Enjoy making new contacts and enjoy the products created.
When you read this, it looks like there is only a great year ahead.
You will be fine!
And read me this time next year March 2022 – as it can never be as bad as 2020
]]>Now, before you roll your eyes at me and think that self-love is nothing more than some buzzword, hippie, made-up concept, hear me out. I used to think the same thing, I thought it meant being a little selfish. I had read the term many times in magazines and on social media, but I just did not think it was relevant in my life.
So, I battled with this phrase for some time until I went to a business coach (I hope that does not make me sound too bougie) who explained that self-love works hand in hand with self-worth. If you do not feel you are worthy, then that’s when trouble can start and can spread out to every aspect of your life. In short, if you do not love yourself how can you really think you are worthy of someone else’s love.
I have always been what people would call a ‘giver’ and I think being this type of person has always compensated or replaced that feeling of self-worth. My self-worth was always hinged on what others thought of me and how much I had given to ‘earn’ that worth.
Self-worth is everything. Discovering self-worth is what helped me on to the road to creating Cheeky Mare. Like I say being a giver I had always put in 110% to helping other people create and manage their own brands. Self-worth told me it was my time to create and manage my own brand because, to use a well-known slogan, I was worth it.
I could not have got through lockdown without realising my self-worth. I know that taking a bit of ‘me time’ is not selfish, it is essential. Lockdown has helped me with my self-worth as well, it has helped me appreciate the small things, the first cup of tea in the morning, the new, recently purchased bedding and laying in bed an extra hour because it is so damn comfy.
With lock down I have become more aware and open to taking the time out to go for that walk everyday, to up my skincare routine and read more. As the whole world has come to a standstill, I have revaluated my needs and passions into what truly makes me happy. The journey to self love has started and I am loving the new me. I’ve also started to eat healthier and drink less not because I’m unhappy with how I look, but because it’s making me feel better - as I approach the big M I’ve realised sugar, wheat and alcohol are not my friends and I’m worth looking after.
Working on the brand has been such a dream and to send gifts of empowerment to our amazing customers is the best feeling you can ever have. When someone sends me a message that they love what I’ve had a hand in creating is such a boost. Cheeky Mare embodies positivity, humour and fun. All the qualities I look for in my circle of friends and the people I surround myself with.
Now I know that these are my people because we deserve each other not because I must gain self worth from them, but as with all great people we lift each other up
I wanted my brand to be about empowering people with our slogans whether it is a gift for another or a gift for yourself, it should always be a gift for someone you love.
Helen Goldie
]]>Well, let me tell you how wrong you are.
The first record of IWD was 1909 and it was created to tackle inequality in the workplace sound familiar? For the last 100+ years IWD has been celebrated around the world to unite all women to speak up on areas such workers rights, poverty, the power to vote and as a voice to be heard. The 8th March has had such a significance in our history it should be celebrated for all the women, our struggles should be voiced and discussed.
I know that many of you will have experienced imbalance in the workplace; the colleague that gets promoted over you, not because he’s more qualified (maybe even less), but simply because he is a man. The pay gap between you and your male colleagues and the bias against single mums. You would think in this day and age this kind of prejudice would be a thing of the past, you would think that the only need for IWD would be to sell greetings cards and bouquets of flowers. But in truth it is needed now more than ever.
Cheeky Mare is a female owned and founded brand. We want to raise up women as much as we can, to get our voices heard. Whether you are a man or a woman take a look at your support network….I bet there are a fair few women there - your mum? Your best friend? Your grandmother? I know I couldn't have started Cheeky Mare without the support of the amazing women around me.
So let's celebrate them this 8th March and let them know just how damn fabulous they are and that you couldn’t do it without them.
And by the way for those that ask (because there’s always one!) International Men’s Day is the 19th November, because (of course) you’d need a woman to let you know!
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