Is it a Mid Life Crisis or Bullshit Overload
(Before you read this you should know i've become addicted to watching Sex and The City reruns on the TV)
Lately i've listened to so many ’experts’ and read so many articles talking about Midlife Crisis and whether it actually exists. We hear the term ‘midlife crisis’ flung around all too often when discussing women who seem to go through a big change in later life, but where did it come from and is what actually happens such a bad thing? In the words of Carrie; i couldn’t help but wonder is there really such thing as a midlife crisis or are we just tired of the bullshit?
Let me explain..
In my 20s i was a bit of a mess. i didn’t know it at the time, but looking back (as i'm sure many of you do) i didn’t know which way was up. On one hand i was supposed to be an adult and to prove it i had a good job, a nice flat, great friends and a cracking social life. However, on the other hand, i was nowhere near as confident in myself as i should have been, the type of confidence that comes with being a grown up. I had the job with a great title and lots of responsibility, but if my boss questioned a decision i'd made, no matter how sure of it i was, i'd change my mind. I’d work crazy hours, for no reward because someone told me that’s what you did you get ahead, not knowing the more you work for free the more your boss expects it. i’d buy something for my flat, but if someone else called it ugly i'd bin it. I’d meet up with friends who always seemed to forget to go to the bar when their glass was empty, yet always seemed to want to line the drinks up when it was my turn.
Now i'm in my (ahem) late 40s and a business owner i've become more confident, more self assured. I know my own mind. I know what i like and i'm not afraid or worried about admitting it and acting on it. If someone wants me to work for them on a promise, i know my worth and i'm not afraid to say no. If my husband tells me that Star Wars curtains have no place in our home he knows that my response will be that HE has no place in our home and I'm simply done with freeloader friends knowing that the friends i have now will always take their turn to get the drinks in and will probably have a row over trying to pay for more than their share. I will call people out over their toxic behaviour, has my personality changed? No. This is me, the me that i was suppressing in my 20s to make other people happy.
It’s not a midlife crisis, i'm just done with all the bullshit.
Since thinking about it like this i've really come to hate the implications of a midlife crisis. Crisis implies something bad, a disaster….is the term ‘midlife crisis' the makings of a man who hates the idea that women, who were once so impressionable, now just call out bullshit? Should we take ownership of this change in our lives? In the words of Mr Big Abso-fucking-lutely!